The weather forecast was for hot dry days ahead and the Killers had no idea whether they were Human or not until the Andybus turned up. This was a somewhat unusual arrival as it didn't appear from the corner of the Cross Hayes as normal but gently set itself down from above our heads. Some one had tied hundreds of helium balloons to it and Sergeant Martin Alvis was busy breathing in the gas from each balloon and shouting out orders to people below from his position on the roof of the bus. The old ladies sat outside the library thought it was the talking ducks migrating from St Aldhelm's Mead.
Then came a low rumble in the distance, was it the first roll of summer thunder. It soon became apparent this was not so as it turned into a regular repetitive thumping noise and around the corner came the Malmesbury Massive. Every description of hatch back car available approached nose to tail. Each one slowing down to a crawl to negotiate the Bennett speed bump and then opening up the organ stops for big bore exhaust as they accelerated to catch up with the elephants tail in front.
This went on for several minutes the accompanying rattle of all the surrounding windows in sympathy to the bass thump of the super woofing subs pounding the tarmac like demented navvies. Some one had obviously forgotten exactly where they were supposed to be going as the lead car had gone right around the block and tagged onto tail end Charlie and now we had a Galactic event turning Malmesbury into a big Black Hole as the dog chased its tail until all watching were dizzy and quaking to the beat.
Then just as if Busby Berkeley had stepped off the bus there came in the other direction a complete wing of push chairs in echelon astern. It was Formula Filands, every unmarried girl in the town all twenty of them and their twenty babies complete with every single one of the five fathers. If one goes out, they all go out, it can get very confusing exactly which baby belongs to which mother and which mother is presently with which father so being from the same estate they just keep up traditions and do it all together and that way no one get too jealous.
Can I really bear to take this bus out of town. I step aboard and ask for a return ticket.
Lorenzo
